How would you wear this umbrella dress? Belted or not?

I had a wedding last weekend and I have had the idea of an umbrella dress somewhere in my head for a long time now, just for the heck of it. It's no secret I really like boxy silhouettes and this would have been just another dress for me. In short form, my mom hates the dress, my cousin felt it was too simple, my tailor made it quite bland. Regardless I got dressed and as I was headed out, Chioma suggested I styled it with a belt. I felt it won't be a bad idea, so I did. It looked great. I twirled and posed for my pictures, I loved it. But when I looked at my LCD, I knew I wasn't going to wear it with the belt, so I started another round of shots. Looking at the pictures, I felt the dress loose was more effortless and more my style. The belted version felt too cute. I don't really like cute, I like a little edge. But I'll like to know, which is more your style? Free or belted?

 

Alopecia isn't about confidence, sometimes the hair is just not fine :(

Last weekend I decided to have my hair in plaits because this heat is not smiling, and since I just took off a big hairstyle, I thought it will be a great idea to lie low. I have alopecia and I have had it for a long time now, since my childhood, my edges come and go- they improve, they get worse, I give up, I keep on.. It's been the story of my life. 

I decided to make a simple hairstyle regardless of my... deficiencies, I felt I had the confidence to wear the hairstyle. Unfotunately, I learnt two big lessons.

1) A good hair dresser knows how to manage hair flaws and keep it looking neat regardless, and knows to advice you against hairstyles that further damage your hairline

 

2) Sometimes even confidence and beauty can't help and ugly hairstyle. Period.

I attended evening mass sometime in the week and a good older friend of mine approached me smiling because I had changed my hairstyle. He said to me- I thank God you took off that hairstyle, very very ugly hair!!. Don't make that hairstyle again, it doesn't fit you. We both burst into laughter. 

My colleagues also hounded me, not subtly oh, that I should take it off because it wasn't flattering. Mom even admitted that she prayed I'd lose the hair soon. I have since taken out the braids in this picture and I will do more to be kind to my features and my edges.

Do you suffer from alopecia? what are your go-to hairstyles?

If we could wear ankara every day would you like it?

TGIF!! It's Frday and I won't be ranting in this post. It's simply an outfit post. I made this detachable peplum to go with a dress I wore for a wedding two years ago. If I could wear indigenous pieces, I'll wear them everyday, incorporated in minor details (which I do) But let's be honest, cost of sewng is quite expensive, and because tailors know we sew for special occasions, they cut our necks for quality tailoring (rolls eyes). But I love that we are loving our own now. We embrace our natural hair, our fabrics, our locally made goods, it's an improvement I am very proud of.

Today I styled my flared pants with my trusty sweater which I love to wear backwards, and I used the peplum as a belt and to infuse a touch of ankara into my outfit, it's Fridy anyway, rock your ankara in minimal tones today. #IRepNaija

I have a dream, that someday we would no longer need to compulsorily wear western pieces to work, and our ankara pieces will not be delegated to just Fridays and weekends. I have a dream that well tailored African pieces will be embraced even by white collar companies and we’ll be encouraged to wear our own, if we so wish. It may seem a far fetched dream, but impossible isn’t a word.

 

Have a great weekend. On Sunday, I'll share a funny alopecia story.

What is your worst flying experience- Flight delays and airport horror stories

I decided to spend my easter celebration at Abuja with Doc, honestly, it was a relief to get away from Lagos, the stress and family (which consists of just my younger brother who has been quite a handful since he returned from school), the change of environment was very necessary as I was almost at breaking point. I booked a return flight with Medview airlines and my flight was scheduled for 5:30 pm on Good Friday. This meant I'd miss Good Friday service by 3pm and I haven't done that in years. I arrived the airport just in time for check in and I read a book on Wattpad (it's an awesome app that features new writers with a wide range of genres)

My flight was moved to 6:45 on my boarding pass, but I decided to stay calm, 6 o clock boarding time and no word from the airline, 7 o clock, still no announcements, reschedules or cancellations, I was getting quite irritated, 9pm and they called a Medview flight to Abuja but not our flight, all hell broke loose, I stayed quiet, I just wanted to be on my way so I watched the scene from behind, apparently the flight that was boarding was supposed to drop those passengers and return by 10:30. 10:30 PM!!!! I got to the Airport by 4pm and I was to live by 10:30? I started thinking happy thoughts, I envisioned the sleep and rest to come with a  lot of TLC, I even imagined slapping the bejesus out of the attendant who was threatening to beat a nursing mother, just happy thoughts all round. In the end, I learned a few survival skills

How to survive a 6-hour delay at the airport

Mix up and make new friends

I met the pretty lady and this really troublesome but funny man and they kept us entertained while the airline scuttled to get us a filling dinner of meat pie and soda. He was with three of his friends and he cracked jokes and had us all in stitches. The lady beside me got a lot of compliments on her kimono. I'm working on getting one myself, it was very lovely.

Read a book 
You could read a book, with happy thoughts in you head, it could be worse. Let the will of God take its course.

Always stay positive
This so far was my worst experience with any airline but I managed to say a few positive words to some aggrieved passenger to sort of put a smile on their faces. A nice word could go a long way.

I arrived Abuja 15 minutes After 11 and didn't wake up till 11 am the next day. But I resolved never to fly that airline again. Unfortunately it was a return flight, I didn't have a choice. Last time I promised. lol

How to get away with wearing shorts to the office

People who know me well know that I do not like corporate outfits and I don't own up to 5 shirts. Unfortunately. The great thing about not working in a bank or an audit company which, correct me if I'm wrong, have the strictest dress codes, is that your work outfits can be more creative and fun. I wore a pair of cotton shorts to work which with a shirt and sneakers would have been very Friday appropriate, (on a second thought, I should try that) But it's obviously not Friday, and I didn't want to look too lax, so I threw on the one piece that can make any outfit work appropriate. A BLAZER.

There are two ways to wear shorts to work without drawing blank stares- Watch the length, and wear a blazer or a shirt; structured pieces dress up your outfits instantly. But In the end I felt like I should have worn pumps or shoes, as the sandals, though gorgeous, looked too simple.

I got this beige blazer from @SoulorangeVintage, yes I buy a lot of her stuff, just because she sells the best vintage ever, and she's affordable, and I'm cheap on a budget. I digress. The blazer is very structured but can still function as semi-formal or even dressed down casual. I must confess though, the arms are quite tight, so I cannot roll up the sleeves but who cares. It looks great!

Whenever you feel like wearing something that might not exactly be work appropriate, throw on a blazer and it's fixed

Do you think this works for all outfits? I think so

Oh and I got those gorgeous shoes from stylecentric.com and the delivery was prompt! (except for the delivery guy who was quite... Unaccomodating )

Dear women, let us raise angry daughters

 

I heard a devastating story today. A girl got raped, she found out she's pregnant, and she's supposed to get married in a few months. I heard this and I felt a myriad of emotions overwhelm me, too many questions unasked- Did she tell anyone? Does her hubby know? Did she get help? Get tested? What to do with the baby? How is she feeling? Is she okay? At first I felt pity, and then anger. Behind my bright smile I carry a lot of anger within me, anger at the way our women are raised, anger at the men who get away with shit, anger at women who at their worst moments think only of how people will perceive them, angry at our mothers for not raising strong angry women.

 

She wants to get an abortion, her father is a pastor, it'll of course be devastating, what will his congregation say? Denola Grey once said "The church is the most judgmental place on earth" Trust me, by their standards, she's going to hell, and burn she will. There might be empathy, there might be pity, there might be a few tears but underneath it all, stigma. Our women are not angry enough! I have been there before honestly, not that I've ever been pregnant, but that's a story for another post. I only ask myself, why does she want an abortion? Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to get all biblical and say it's a sin, but deep within me, I know she shouldn't be alone. Not now, not with all of this.

 

We aren't angry enough! I came out of a rough experience and I went to God and we made a deal, protect me, and I'll be good, I promised to be good, I thought I'd be fine, I'd get over it but I later came to discover my life was never the same, something in me broke, and I have been angry since then, I changed my narrative, no longer was I Ezinne-eager,-to-please easy-to-date, complacent-in-relationships. I refused to be battered by life or by any living being, male or female, I was angry because our patriarchal society will shut the mouths of rape victims with scorn and stigma, I was angry that rape victims will not seek help even when there are so many organisations out there willing to help, for fear of identification, I am angry that the reason for abortion might be what-will-people-say. I cannot empathize even though I ahve come out of a slightly similar situation, regardless, I refused to let it beat me, I fought through the trauma, I fought through the PTSD, I rose above it all with a new will to succeed and be a successful woman who could conveniently decide tolive her life as she pleases without the shackles of our pretentious society. 

I will raise angry daughters, who will tell Uncle Tope don't you dare touch me. I want to raise daughters that will raise alarm when thier teacher tries dares to touch them inappropriately, not one who raises "Free Seni" placards because they enjoy his nasty lingua. I will raise a woman whose only dream is not to just get married and start a family but to leave a mark on this earth. We aren't angry enough, but we should kindle that fire in all our daughters.

 

Dear lady, I do not know you, I don't pretend to know how it feels, but it is time to get angry and fight, because with or without the child it only gets worseif you don't stay strong, open up to your parents, get help, the truth surely does set you free, fuck society! Think about YOU, how are YOU feeling? Stop and think about YOUR health, YOURSELF, YOUR life, what this means for YOUR future, make informed decisions, not ones borne out of fear. We are women, we are a strong breed, we would go through the storm in Valentino Rock studs and come out unscathed.

Whatever you're going through, you are not alone, there are places where you can get help, google is your friend. Mirabel centre is one I'm quite familiar with, and there are others. Never wallow in self pity, when life deals you a blow that hard, know that it's time to fight. If you feel your ship has sailed, make sure to raise strong daughters.

So your outfit looks too bland, what next?

 

I don't know about you but I'm constantly trying to get more wear out of my clothes and I hear people say it's really difficult to keep their outfits interesting. Honestly, it wasn't always easy for me until I surrounded myself with stylish people (On Instagram) who I draw inspiration from. You can't know everything, that's why it's imperative to search for inspiration from different sources, if you see it, you like it, why not try it? Here are a few ways to keep your fashion interesting.

 

Wear tops as blouses: It's a sure fire way to not just get more wear out of your clothes, but also to keep it very interesting. Have a body con dress tucked into your skirt like I did and if it happens to be buttoned down, wear it as a cape. You can undo all the buttons and belt yours, I wore this to work so I needed to maintain the balance between stylish and work appropriate. 

 

Challenge yourself to go from day to night: It's a Friday and I love to have a good night out with my girls at the end of a stressful week, this outfit could easily do it for me. All I need do is take off my skirt and maybe change my heels if I want to. You too could also tow this route by tucking your mini slip dress into a pencil skirt and pairing with a blazer or swapping your flats/sneakers with a pair of heels and undoing a few more buttons for effect, *wink*

 

Add a pop of colour: I love how I kept the outfit quite simple and toted my red handbag, colour gives life to your outfits, and have you noticed that bright colours make you happy? I agree. Make your outfits more interesting by throwing in an element/burst of colour.

 

Heels Heels Heels: Heels are a necessary evil but not a compulsory one. I love the way they boost your walk and give you a strut, they help with confidence too as you stand taller. When your outfits feel bland, don a pair of heels, in black for the not too courageous, or in a neon tone for those who are trying to draw attention away from themselves to their shoes.

 

Finally, be wholly and unapologetically you, don't be swayed by standards, after all style is relative, no one decides what's appropriate for you except you. 

Stay confident, stay stylish, stay blessed.

TGIF

XOXO 

#Rant- The one thing you need to know about being a daddy's girl

I'm not perfect, my flaws make me who I am, I'm open to change, but obviously not as much as I imagined. I spent half of my life trying to run from the clutches of my overprotective dad, he chose my clothes, my hairstyles, even the days to play outside and who to play with, he made those decisions for me.

 I couldn't wait to answer adult and be free, make my big hair, wear big clothes, be a big girl, and drive a big car. Time comes, work starts, dad stops giving me pocket money frequently, he stops staying in my face, he lets me be, I choose my clothes and even when he complains he doesn't force me to remove them. Then I start to complain, daddy doesn't care, he doesn't want to know how I'm coping, he just leaves me to my own whims, he doesn't buy me stuff as much as he used to and I get to fix my car myself. Daddy doesn't love me anymore. LOL

S/O to all daddy's girls who grew up and it seemed too soon.

  

I love this drop waist dress, and I have worn it so many times, I'm sick of it, so I decided to wear my ripped jeans underneath, after all the jeans hardly fit anymore, so make e no waste. Have a great week

 

 

#InterationalWomensDay: Women are women's worst enemies... An ode to strong women

 I was once told never to expect anything from anyone, that has been my mantra for years. I listen to the news and I hear arrested criminals blaming the government for the lack of jobs which led them to crime, and I cringe, why should I wait for the government to give me a job before I get my shit together. I haven't always had it all figured out, I only remember promising myself that fashion was going to pay my bills because I loved it so much and God wouldn't give me a talent I couldn't monetize. As I grew older, I started familiarizing myself with the concept of Feminism, Self development, Self worth, I started to set a standard for myself, to raise the bar very high so that my dreams are not average, I knew already there were no ready made jobs waiting for me when I graduated so I got a hubby, I started to utilize the internet, I started to develop myself, take free courses on Coursera and EDx But to be fair, work hasn't made it easy to keep up with my assignments and deadlines but I do the best I can.

 I want to make a difference in my niche, in my country, in my family, I refuse to be average, I refuse to wait for society or anyone to provide me with anything, I have taken charge of my life and put my future in my hands, I have decided to succeed against all odds.

It's international women's day today, and I'm taking a stand with strong women all over the world who are defying stereotypes and making their marks in their different spheres and saying; "We are women, we can be anything we want to be, we refuse to be labeled as 'Just wives' we are much much more"

Today I am celebrating a few strong women and friends I have come to know and learn from and who have inspired me in a lot of ways. Women who have risen above societal mediocrities and have decided to put their foot down in their own little way to overcome every obstacle with the aim to succeed. You might not know them, yet, but I do, I laud them, and appreciate the little nuggets of wisdom we have shared with one another. I encourage our women and young ladies to stop aspiring only to marriage but also to greatness, you can be so much more than a wife, just don't settle for average.

My beautiful wahala mommy, who gave me so much trouble just to make me a proper lady, she ,makes me cook all kinds of things and do all kinds of menial jobs (Slavery+house chores) She taught me to be strong, independent and tolerant. She's good, she's kind, she's strong and thankfully she's mine.

Udoka Okuofu is the marketer for In the city Lagos, a free monthly publication. She markets a magazine that is free but can get the big wigs to advertise and keep it running. She never learned marketing, she didn't read it in school, it's something she learned all by herself. I admire her greatly!

Ebele Nwaobi, and Maria Anyawu are my colleagues, we work with an e-commerce company that is coming to kick Jumia and their counterparts to the curb pretty soon (yes I'm boasting). I can't say much about this two women until the right time, but they do great work to make this dream a reality. One of them writes codes (damn!)

Barr Chigozie Ugwunna is an outspoken lawyer with a passion for women liberation, she's a feminist, she's a fighter, I might not always like her methods, but you gotta respect a woman with standards. 

Dawwan Stephanie Ejomah is a serial entrepreneur, she's an MC an OAP, a teacher, headed for her PHd soon, she's pretty, she's smart, she's independent, and people say she's feisty but what do you expect from a lady who has fought her way and made a name for herself by herself. Kudos

We are a unique breed, us women, and with great effort, we can acheive great feats. Women are their own worst enemies, but their own best friends, let's show love and encouragement to one another. 

Happy International women's day.

XOXO