#Rant- The one thing you need to know about being a daddy's girl

I'm not perfect, my flaws make me who I am, I'm open to change, but obviously not as much as I imagined. I spent half of my life trying to run from the clutches of my overprotective dad, he chose my clothes, my hairstyles, even the days to play outside and who to play with, he made those decisions for me.

 I couldn't wait to answer adult and be free, make my big hair, wear big clothes, be a big girl, and drive a big car. Time comes, work starts, dad stops giving me pocket money frequently, he stops staying in my face, he lets me be, I choose my clothes and even when he complains he doesn't force me to remove them. Then I start to complain, daddy doesn't care, he doesn't want to know how I'm coping, he just leaves me to my own whims, he doesn't buy me stuff as much as he used to and I get to fix my car myself. Daddy doesn't love me anymore. LOL

S/O to all daddy's girls who grew up and it seemed too soon.

  

I love this drop waist dress, and I have worn it so many times, I'm sick of it, so I decided to wear my ripped jeans underneath, after all the jeans hardly fit anymore, so make e no waste. Have a great week

 

 

#InterationalWomensDay: Women are women's worst enemies... An ode to strong women

 I was once told never to expect anything from anyone, that has been my mantra for years. I listen to the news and I hear arrested criminals blaming the government for the lack of jobs which led them to crime, and I cringe, why should I wait for the government to give me a job before I get my shit together. I haven't always had it all figured out, I only remember promising myself that fashion was going to pay my bills because I loved it so much and God wouldn't give me a talent I couldn't monetize. As I grew older, I started familiarizing myself with the concept of Feminism, Self development, Self worth, I started to set a standard for myself, to raise the bar very high so that my dreams are not average, I knew already there were no ready made jobs waiting for me when I graduated so I got a hubby, I started to utilize the internet, I started to develop myself, take free courses on Coursera and EDx But to be fair, work hasn't made it easy to keep up with my assignments and deadlines but I do the best I can.

 I want to make a difference in my niche, in my country, in my family, I refuse to be average, I refuse to wait for society or anyone to provide me with anything, I have taken charge of my life and put my future in my hands, I have decided to succeed against all odds.

It's international women's day today, and I'm taking a stand with strong women all over the world who are defying stereotypes and making their marks in their different spheres and saying; "We are women, we can be anything we want to be, we refuse to be labeled as 'Just wives' we are much much more"

Today I am celebrating a few strong women and friends I have come to know and learn from and who have inspired me in a lot of ways. Women who have risen above societal mediocrities and have decided to put their foot down in their own little way to overcome every obstacle with the aim to succeed. You might not know them, yet, but I do, I laud them, and appreciate the little nuggets of wisdom we have shared with one another. I encourage our women and young ladies to stop aspiring only to marriage but also to greatness, you can be so much more than a wife, just don't settle for average.

My beautiful wahala mommy, who gave me so much trouble just to make me a proper lady, she ,makes me cook all kinds of things and do all kinds of menial jobs (Slavery+house chores) She taught me to be strong, independent and tolerant. She's good, she's kind, she's strong and thankfully she's mine.

Udoka Okuofu is the marketer for In the city Lagos, a free monthly publication. She markets a magazine that is free but can get the big wigs to advertise and keep it running. She never learned marketing, she didn't read it in school, it's something she learned all by herself. I admire her greatly!

Ebele Nwaobi, and Maria Anyawu are my colleagues, we work with an e-commerce company that is coming to kick Jumia and their counterparts to the curb pretty soon (yes I'm boasting). I can't say much about this two women until the right time, but they do great work to make this dream a reality. One of them writes codes (damn!)

Barr Chigozie Ugwunna is an outspoken lawyer with a passion for women liberation, she's a feminist, she's a fighter, I might not always like her methods, but you gotta respect a woman with standards. 

Dawwan Stephanie Ejomah is a serial entrepreneur, she's an MC an OAP, a teacher, headed for her PHd soon, she's pretty, she's smart, she's independent, and people say she's feisty but what do you expect from a lady who has fought her way and made a name for herself by herself. Kudos

We are a unique breed, us women, and with great effort, we can acheive great feats. Women are their own worst enemies, but their own best friends, let's show love and encouragement to one another. 

Happy International women's day.

XOXO

Is fashion critique supposed to be funny? or derogatory?

I love fashion, and I love to write about it. I followed fashion police for years and for some time I subscribed to the school of thought that fashion critique could be derogatory, afterall, the celebs are public figures, but I had to admit later on that they are people too. I used to work as a fashion writer for an online magazine and weekly I'd pick a celeb and I'd dissect their outfit in a fashion that was quite rude, and my boss scolded me, reminding me that they were people, they had feelings, if I had to talk about anything they wore I should say it like a professional and attack the outfit, not the person. I should be able to say why it didn't work, I should be able to advice my readers on how to do it better, and finally to understand that it is an opinion not a war.

The AMVCAs will hold tomorrow, and it's the Oscars of Nollywood, everyone who's anyone is going to be there, and fashion critiques will pull out the big guns, and we when we do, let us do it like we understand the essesnce of fashion. With respect to the wearer, and with solutions and reasons for our descisions. Let's be civilized, let's be objective and clear, let's treat people as we want to be treated; With respect.

I wore this last Friday to work with a blazer and later I took off the blazer and went for the wrap up party of the social media week and a little TGIF night out with friends.

 This skirt was made for a friend's wedding and though I had something else in mind, I had my tailor line it with my aso ebi gele, just for the sake of being innovative, I found out, albeit too late, that aso oke can be quite hard on the skin, and because it doesn't strech, it could be tough when it's tight and bunch up without hugging your body (hence the bulge that makes me look like I ned to suck belle). I love the skirt though, I think it's very pretty. I tried on two different shoes and later opted for the nude pointies, just because... just because. Lol.

 

What do you think of fashion critique and how do you think it should be tackled?
Have a great award weekend.
Be kind

Social media for dummies:How to grow you following like a pro

I did say I was going to share some social media strategies I learnt at the just concluded Social Media Week event here in Lagos. First, here's a small disclaimer- I am not a social media person, I'd rather do without it, I hardly update my Instagram and I'd rather not be on BBM. That said, I know that I cannot be a blogger and not have a social media presence, so I'm praying God will bless me with money to pay someone to manage my social media so that I'm not bothered with doing it myself. Moving on, growing your social media following requires patience and consistency. Your following cannot skyrocket in a day Unless you take a picture half naked beside a sleeping Davido and share the photos on twitter and Instagram. (clears throat). But if you try these few steps I have learned from my new position as head of fashion for a new e-commerce company launching soon and from social media week you just might get a hag of it.

*HASHTAGS- If you love Instagram, then you have to master the art of hashtagging without looking spammy. Hashtags are the most used search tools on Instagram and with the right hashtag your page can be found, but you have to use hashtags that are relevant to your posts so that you reach people in your niche. E.g #fashion #fashionblogger . It helps to check your Instagram mentors ad see what hashtags they're using and try them out.

*SHARE LINKS- Share links to your social media pages on your blog using social media widgets, it's a good way of referring your blog followers to your social media pages. If they love what you write, they might as well want to... er.. see you more often. Lol

*CONSISTENCY- Don't be like me and post once a week and expect your social media to grow, you should try to pots at least, LEAST, once daily, if you can do more, it's better. But this keeps your page engaging and lets prospective followers know you're active.

*PICTURE QUALITY- You mustn't have a DSLR to have clear pictures, all you need is a phone with a good camera, don't over filter your photos, and keep them clear and neat. Sharing funny quotes and motivation messages are good too.

*HAVE A VOICE- Everybody cannot like everything, so decide a tone you want to set for your page. Are you fun? Serious? Feminist? Let it show in your style of writing, captions and in your pictures, and people who like your style will surely like your page. Everyone has a market,

*OTHERS- Follow people, like their phots, comment on others photos (Luke 6:31) etc.

 

I decdied to not wear makeup to work and dress as simply as I could manage. There should be turn down days. I hate pink, but this seemed a nice combination so I threw on my beret and off I went.

How do you create engagement and grow your social media followrship? I'll love to learn. Do share with us.

Stay fab!;

My first day at Social Media week #SMWLagos2016 fashion fix

Last week, I attended the Social media week #SMWLagos2016 forum hosted by Tomiwa Oladele the Creative Director of style by Ayaba. It was called fashion fix and the panel which was anchored by Mimi Onalaja saw Ozinna Anumudu, Denola Grey, Adaku Ufere, Dodos, and Tomiwa Oladele chair the event, taking questions and educating us on how they grew their social media platforms, differentiating brand and personal social media and basically sharing experiences on how they had grown to this point. It was quite educating, I promise to share what I learned in general in tomorrow's post but here are some pictures from the event.

L-R Mimi Onalaja, Dodos, AdakuUfere, Ozinna Anumudu

Model rocking Style by Ayaba

All models in SBA evening wear

Style session hosted by Tomiwa Oladele of  SBA

Selfie with Uju of Sleek Nigeria

L-R Desola Mako, Ezinne Ousagwu, Uju Ikegbune

Uju Ikegbune

Boxy Sihouettes: How to get comfortable in outfits you're not so comfortable in

I planned to attend social media week yesterday, so I styled my pants with this sequined embellished blouse. I must confess it wasn't my first choice, I planned to wear it with a fitted shirt, but it didn't feel right. I then decided to try this on, though I did feel a bit shiny at work but who cares. I had two problems. I might like boxy silhouettes but sometimes they can make you feel unflattering. I always wear a fitted piece when I wear boxy clothes but the pants were loose and so was the blouse, I looked uncomfortably into the mirror but I was already late for work so I couldn't change it. There are three  things I do when don't feel comfortable in my outfits.

  

1) I wear heels- There is a feeling you get when you wear a fly pair of heels, they improve your walk and boost your confidence. So even when think you're getting funny looks, don't worry, they are only admiring you.

 

2) Colours that pop: Bright colours have a way of improving your mood. When you feel uncomfortable, get a bright coloured purse, lipstick or accessory that draws attention away from your outfit.

 

3) Look at me bags: This also helps shift attention away from you. You might not like your outfit, but people will surely compliment you and your bag. I left my purse at home so I turned my camera pouch into my makeshift bag for the event. I used the card of my church bulletin to line it so that it had some structure, I stuffed my things in and off I went. This was a very happy outfit for me o. Wink*

 

I hope this helps. What's most important is to remain confident, no matter what you wear. Confidence can turn any drab outfit into a fab one. Any more suggestions guys?

Do you ever struggle to be liked? This is a tale of plantain chips. Honestly.

Someone ate some of my plantain chips which I hid in one of our office cabinets as a quick snack for days when I crave... well, a quick snack. Isn't it funny how little things you'll come to laugh about tomorrow can raise so much turmoil in your soul. LOL, I choose to stay civil till I can laugh about it again.
Yes it was important to me (the chips I mean).

You see I like to tell myself that I'm a happy girl, I'm always cheerful, I love to smile, I love to see the good in people but I'm honestly not very tolerant, every day I pray for patience and humility because if God can cope with my excesses then I should make an effort towards my neighbours. With this mindset I am constantly battling with blurred lines- where does tolerance become long suffering? In our lives, we struggle to climb the social ladder, struggle to live, eat, and struggle with that constant need to be liked. That last part I tossed in the gutter during my school days, If you didn't like me you could burn in hades, see if I'd flinch, that changed as I grew older. I find that in life, no matter how wide you smile, there are those people who'd never see anything good about you. From your heels to your well-styled dress, they write you off immediately-
 "I don't like that girl". 
"Why?" 
"I don't know, she dresses too much, and she's  friendly, that's very fake".
That's the story of my life. I started out life early so constantly I find myself in the midst of my seniors, thus I'm forced to bridle my tongue because our elders don't expect you to express your angst about anything- it's plain rude. Oh the fuckery.

I'm not perfect, I can be an annoying person too, but someone once told me, treat people the way you want to be treated; with respect. So I'll try to remember this when people eat my plantain chips and it pisses me off and I'm struggling with the temptation of unleashing a tirade of very hot words and rather, pass on my query in a civilised manner, just because that's how I'd like to be treated if tables were turned; and not because people who hate you already will add that slip of tongue to their list of "1001 reasons why you should hate her too" (because who cares anyway?)

I did a shoot for an upcoming clothing brand, St. Charmynn, they specialise in corporate wear and he gave me the honour of styling the looks and shooting them. I loved his collection and all his pieces are made in Nigeria. I had fun with it, It was a simple dress, yet I wanted it to appeal to the working woman who wanted to buy office ready clothes and still keep them versatile. These are one of the looks, and I'll follow up with more pictures subsequently.

 

Dress: St.Charmynn

Model: Jennifer Raymond

Photo credits: Yours truly

xoxo

Linda Ikeji's Hermes bag- The cost of being successful and single

I read a story about Linda Ikeji's fake Hermes bags, and the comments followed got me thinking, "Don't you just hate a woman who is so successful and unmarried." I might hold minority opinion on this topic but I love that woman; call her proud, call her bush, but she rose above the dirt that was her life. I visit her blog every day because I'm sorry, no matter where I go, gist just seems sweeter on that platform. I know a woman who bashes her and calls her names all the time, but still shamelessly admits that that's her go-to blog for gist.

Dabota Lawson was showing off her billionaire wife skills on Instagram and everyone seemed to  want her  "blessing." Show me the way, they said, I want to be like you, they famzed, (Who names her business after her billionaire husband anyway?) Ini Edo posted her shoe closet the other day, social media swooned (I wasn't impressed anyway, it never translates into her personal style, but I digress) Linda Ikeji then posts her Birkin and trolls march into her comments space and even go as far as photoshopping a message from Hermes? What is she doing that any of us don't already do? Celebs show off new cars every day but Linda Ikeji can't?

We get engaged we flaunt our diamonds, we buy new cars and we rush to post on Instagram, Davido buys a wrist watch that cost two cars and social media sings Osinachi, but Linda Ikeji buys a Birkin and she shows off too much. HYPOCRITES!!! This fuckery is what drives me to succeed, married or unmarried. My goodness! Women, rise above this pettiness, let's be real, if I were Linda of course, I'll get angry at some point, why always me, why can't I be on Instagram and use it like any other person, why do people pick on only  me!

Look, Egbon social media, if you want the bag, go and take it! 

 

I wore my dress as a jacket today because the economy is getting bad and I have to wise up and save. Recycling and restyling your clothes is a great way to stay stylish without breaking bank. I changed jobs recently so I have more time on my hands for rants and random thoughts. I will share them once in a while. E go better my people.